The Comparison Trap


“The most crippling thing you can do to yourself is to compare yourself to others. Your journey is unique, YOU are unique. Your story is unique. As a matter of fact, you should be PROUD that you’re not “regular”. You should be proud to be different from others. Don’t rush yourself simply because others are getting there faster than you…”


It’s been a while since I last shared some of my thoughts, but I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately. I’m 22 years of age at the moment, and unlike a lot of people my age that I come across, I still live under my parents’ roof, I’m unmarried/not in a committed relationship, I don’t have a full time high-paying job, I don’t drive nor do I own a car, I still don’t feel my age, some people even say I look 19 *sigh* and many of my peers are running successful businesses while I sit there wondering what to have for dinner. 

First of all, I’d like to honestly say that we all have moments where we feel like we’re slacking, heavily. When we become so obsessed with watching other people’s lives, we run the risk of falling into a trap. We may end up feeling jealous, sad and sometimes even empty, as if we are inadequate simply because we haven’t accomplished certain things or aren’t at a certain stage in our lives. 

The most crippling thing you can do to yourself is to compare yourself to others. Your journey is unique, YOU are unique. Your story is unique. As a matter of fact, you should be PROUD that you’re not “regular”. You should be proud to be different from others. Don’t rush your growth simply because others are getting there faster than you, that’s how you end up short-changing yourself. Try to be satisfied with where you are right now and savour every moment, because even at the top, it gets lonely and tough. You’d be better off enjoying what you’ve got now, because with great accomplishments comes great responsibility. 

“The one who didn’t know the master’s will but who did things deserving punishment will be beaten only a little. Much will be demanded from everyone who has been given much, and from the one who has been entrusted with much, even more will be asked.” Luke 12:48

So you may want to be a leader, you may crave respect, you may want to move mountains, earn lots of money, be loved etc, but remember that with each step you climb, much more will be expected of you. Are you really ready for everything, because it’s not all fun and games. Are you ready for sleepless nights, advocacy, helping others at the expense of your own resources, and many other expectations that come with whatever you wish upon yourself? Are you ready to love someone else besides yourself and put their needs before yours? Are you ready to be an exemplary leader who is just and compassionate? Are you ready for simple things like remembering to pay your bills, MOT for your car, paying taxes and so forth? 

A lot of us want the result, but we don’t want to go through the motions. What we fail to comprehend, oftentimes, is that nothing comes easy. The process in itself is painful and what you input will determine what you’ll receive, and of course, after receiving that, there will be greater expectations of you and the way you conduct yourself and the way you represent your partner, the way you lead etc. It is imperative that you enjoy where you are now, for you will literally NEVER be in that same exact position ever again; with each passing second you’re actually already in your future. Take your time. Go through everything because with each step there’s a lesson to be learnt and if you try to learn how to land the plane when you’re already soaring through the skies with no manual or instructor present to guide you, then you’re doomed. You’re special as you are, an integral part of the universe. Don’t underestimate yourself and pretty please, don’t compare yourself to anybody else besides your past self!

Remember, self-improvement VS “being better than Becky”. 

Stay blessed 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Ashley Adesola says:

    It took a few watsapps to actually click the link but I’m glad I did, beautiful message, brought positivity into my day. Keep up the good work, you never know who needs it!

    1. Thank you Ashley for reading! I’m glad you took something from it and I’ll be sure to share more in future 😌 stay blessed

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